When did Waiting for Spring (WFS) start to germinate in your mind? How long until “the end”?

In December 2005, I got sick and had to quit my job for a while. I've always loved reading, but it didn't take me long to reread every book I owned, and I soon got tired of the cookie-cutter books I kept finding at the bookstores and online. Then I remembered what Toni Morrison said: "If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it." That was all well and good, but I didn't know how to get started.

In February 2006, I discovered Chris Baty's "No Plot, No Problem" (the guidebook to National Novel Writing Month) in my local bookstore. I bought it and read it in a day. It got me all fired up to finally get started, but the real NaNoWriMo wasn't scheduled to start until November. I couldn't wait that long, so I decided that March 2006 would be my own personal NaNo month. (At the time I'd never heard of NaNoWriMo. I now realize that there's a certain amount of stigma attached to it in some literary circles, but I found that the basic "write now, write a lot, don't look back, edit later" principle was just what I needed. I'm working on my third novel, and I still work that way.)

Anyway, I'd had all of these characters living inside of me for many years, especially Tess, but it wasn't until I actually started writing that the story itself began to unfold. I'd never written anything so big, so ambitious, before, so the first 50,000 word draft of the novel was more an exercise in getting to know these characters than anything else. I let them interact and collide with each other, and the plot sort of developed from there. By the fall of 2006, what I call the "real" first draft was done - the draft with the actual plot. The thing was well over 200,000 words!

I spent the next year editing and making cuts, showing it to critique partners, getting their feedback, and editing some more…making more cuts. Among other things, I lost an entire subplot (and a character I was absolutely crazy about) because it slowed the pacing down too much. It wasn't until September of 2007 that the version that's now available was completed.

What is the publication story?

Once I was done with the editing and revisions, I did what most other authors who want their novels to see the light of day do…I shopped it out to a variety of agents. I got a lot of rejections at first, which didn't really surprise me. I knew how hard it was going to be to break into the publishing world and was ready for a long, tough ride.

But then, in the winter of 2007, I started getting some interest in the novel. Several agents asked for partials, then a few of those asked for the full manuscript. Most of them ended up rejecting it for not being "marketable." That's what I kept hearing: "I loved the book, but I don't think I can get a publisher to buy it." That was more discouraging than the initial flat out rejections. Finally, in the spring of 2008, an agent told me she would be more than happy to represent me and my book…IF I made it into a sort of "rural Bridget Jones' Diary." As written, Waiting For Spring was "too realistic." She suggested that I make Tess less sexually aggressive, that I take out all of the drug references and the abortion scene, that I change the outcome of a major character's story line…on and on and on.

I realized that the only way for me to get published the traditional way was to write one of those cookie-cutter books I hated so much, or to turn what I'd already written into something so watered down that there was no flavor left. I wasn't about to do that, and let the agent know it…very plainly. That's when I decided to "go indie," to publish it myself. Taking the lesson from Waiting For Spring, I decided that fifty years from now "I could have published my novel on my own" would be a bigger regret than "If only I hadn't made such a fool of myself."

 

How much of "Waiting for Spring" is writing about what you know and how much is research?

I'd say about 95% of it is writing what I know. I live in rural Maine, which is the setting of the book. I made it easy on myself, though, by creating fictional towns so I could invent a history, geography and topography that would best serve the story. While none of the plot or my characters are based on real events or people, I certainly used certain aspects of situations I'd been in or witnessed, as well as personality traits of myself and people I knew, for the book. I think that's pretty typical of a first novel. There were some things I wasn't sure about - some details about guns, for example, and some legal and religious questions I needed cleared up - so I did some research, including asking people I knew who had some expertise in those fields.

 

How helpful do you think your blog and web site have been for promoting WFS?

Absolutely invaluable. If it wasn't for having an online presence, the only copies of Waiting For Spring that would have sold - or been read - would have been to my immediate family members and close friends.

 

What made you decide to donate the proceeds from the book to a domestic abuse project?

As you know, one of the subplots of Waiting For Spring involves domestic violence. I knew a little bit about that from the experiences of a friend, but I also did some research and learned just how prevalent domestic abuse really is. It opened my eyes to other situations that were happening right in front of me.

Last fall I learned that Maine was going to cut funding for domestic abuse programs. I thought of all of the people who really depend on those programs, and especially of the people who wouldn't be able to get help at all if those programs weren't there, or weren't funded well enough, and it made me angry. It made me scared for those people, too. My family is what you'd call "working class," so I didn't have the means to donate a whole lot personally, but it occurred to me that once my book was available on Amazon, a whole new revenue source would be opened up and…I don't know. I guess I didn't really have to think about whether or not I should donate the money, I just knew it was something I had to do.

 

If you gave up both fame and money--by publishing independently and donating the proceeds--why are you doing it? Why do you write?"

 

Well, realistically speaking, very few writers garner either fame or money from their work. Even most authors who are published "traditionally" toil away in relative obscurity, with just a small legion of readers, and a day job of some sort that actually pays the bills - it's just the nature of the beast. So I guess my reasons for doing it aren't very different from most other writers. I do the actual writing itself because I love doing it. I spoke earlier about how the characters from Waiting For Spring had sort of been living inside of me for years. There are others in there, too, and that can get pretty uncomfortable if you don't do something with them. And more importantly, there's a feeling you get when you really hit your stride, when you're able to tap directly into your heart and gut and soul and write from those places. When you're looking at the monitor and words are appearing there, and they're amazing, beautiful, heartbreaking words...and you forget that it's your fingers tapping on the keyboard that is making it happen. That's what I strive for as I'm writing, it's the feeling I'm always chasing, and it keeps me going.

 

As to why I put it out there for the public...I guess perhaps ego comes into play a little bit. It's a great feeling, knowing that words you've written, that characters you've created, have resonated with another person. Again, looking fifty years into the future, I won't remember how much money I had in my bank account on any particular day or week or month, but I'll remember that one or two people cried when they read my book. I'll remember the emails I've gotten from people whose relatives have been touched by drug abuse or domestic violence who could relate to Tess and Brian's feelings of helplessness when dealing with with Rachel, or who have been through painful divorces or have had to endure emotional abuse. Or, to be honest, from people who were just plain entertained while reading the book.

 

That's not to say I don't dream of being able to support myself with my writing someday. It would be great if I could "quit my day job" and write full time, in fact I really do hope it happens someday. But if it doesn't, it won't be the end of the world for me, because it's not my primary motive in writing.

What is your view of the publishing industry/literary landscape in the US after the experience with WFS?

That's a good question, but difficult to answer. My opinion is naturally clouded by my own experience with traditional publishing, which wasn't very positive. I know that if you ask 100 aspiring authors, "Is your book good enough to be published and made available to the public in bookstores all over the world?" every one of them will say, "Of course!" And the sad fact is, most of them really aren't. It's so easy now to write a book and send in a query, so most agents' inboxes are stuffed full, and most of what they get really isn't worth handling. It makes it difficult for all first-time authors to get noticed.

At the same time, I think agents and publishers are playing it too safe. They're afraid to take a chance on something that they think is good, but different from what's been established as a "sure thing." It's frustrating for me, not only as a writer, but as a reader.

Fortunately, I've been exposed to so many talented indie writers who have really opened up new avenues for me, both in how to get my own stuff into the hands of readers, as well as in giving me lots of new - and very good - stuff to read. I think self-publishing (or indie publishing) is going to gain a new level of acceptance very soon as the cream of those writers rises to the top.

What do you hope your readers will take from the book?

The most important theme in my mind as I was writing is how fear so often holds us back from truly opening ourselves up to experiences, whether it's falling in love or having a measure of success or to getting out of a rut…or whatever. We're afraid of rejection or of failure or of just trying something new. And the thing is, we only have a small window of opportunity here. We're all of us mortal beings with, really, only one chance of getting it right. If we hold ourselves back from opening up to someone or of walking down an unfamiliar path, we might never get that chance back again. Usually we don't.

That's the case with Tess, my protagonist. Everything she does, or doesn't do, is colored by fear (literally, in her artist's mind, as well as figuratively), and it costs her dearly throughout most of the book. I guess you could say that I hope the lesson readers take away from the novel is that Could Have Been is usually a much more bitter pill to swallow than If Only I Hadn't.

R.J. Keller also talked about her latest project.

Right now I'm working on what you could call both a prequel and a companion to “Waiting For Spring”. It focuses on Brian's parents, Rick and Wendy. In WFS, you get to know them through Brian's eyes as he relates his family history to Tess: Rick is an alcoholic who abandoned his family after the death of his wife. Although Rick does get a redemption of sorts in WFS, he isn't what I'd call a sympathetic character. Brian hates him, and understandably so. On the other hand, Wendy - as filtered through her son's idolizing eyes - is presented as a tragic, almost saint-like, figure.

 

The truth, of course, is always much more complex. While writing WFS, I created a backstory for each of the 'minor' characters that included stuff the reader never actually sees. I needed to do that to make Tess's interactions with them feel real, since the book is written in first person in her point of view. The reader never actually sees into the mind of any other character, which can be a challenge. For example, with Rick, I had to know what was going on in his mind so I could accurately write the fight that that Tess witnesses between him and Brian, because it was more than just throwing punches. Brian also lets him have it verbally. We know Brian's view of things, because he talks to Tess - and thus the reader - about it. Tess, naturally, never has that conversation with Rick, so the reader never learns what's going on in his mind. I had to know, though, because Rick's reactions to what Brian says, and his decision to leave Rachel alone afterwards, had to feel real to me before I could make them real for my readers. I had to be satisfied with his motivations for acting the way he did and for me it had to be about more than just fear of more violence from Brian that made him back off. So I decided that things between Brian's parents weren't what they appeared to be on the surface, and wrote their backstory with that in mind. Even though WFS readers never get any of that backstory, hopefully they get a sense of something being not as it seems, even if it's subtle. If they don't, of course, it doesn't change the story any, which is also important.

 

Anyway, when I was done with WFS, I felt that I'd put all of those characters to bed, so to speak, in that their stories were told ... except for Rick and Wendy. They were still hanging out with me, and will be until I finish telling their story. I'm doing that by writing a book that's told through both of their eyes: Wendy's story is told in the past, from when she and Rick first get together to throughout their troubled marriage, whereas Rick's story is told in the present day (or at least, as the present day corresponds to the events told in WFS.)

It's been slow going, writing this book, since I've been back to work for awhile now, and since I'm homeschooling my kids, but it's moving forward. Once it's finally finished, I think anyone who's read "Waiting for Spring" will enjoy this new book, because it does give them a new perspective on a story they think they know. I also think they'll get a kick out of seeing Tess through Rick's eyes. At least I hope that's the case.

Copyright 2008-2010 Lori Tiron-Pandit

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