There was this little worm inside of me

that ate my heart and my brains every day

little by little

every drop of blood, every nerve, every thought.

And I hated it.

Oh, I hated it deeply

All of me.

But it was such a perverse being!

By night it transformed into a beautiful butterfly

with the sun and the moon painted on it

with the happiness I never knew

on its wings.

For a few moments it shined inside me

and cured everything

my living on this Earth

my being born

my waking up every morning in pain

And I loved it.

Paralyzed I was by love

forever not knowing what to choose

forever refusing to understand

to listen

to reason

to end.