Most of the time I worry a lot. I worry that the meat has growth hormones that get into our systems and mess them up. I worry that the water has fluoride and some recent studies show this substance as being responsible for development problems in children. I worry that the plastic leaks into our foods, that the grass we step on is covered in chemicals. I am scared that the furniture and carpets in our home outgas toxic fumes. I don’t know what to do about the harmful lining (bisphenol A) in the cans of food. I have bad dreams about the pharmaceuticals that made their way into our water. I am terrified that I cannot keep the pace and I cannot protect my family from this evil environment that has been created for us.
These days we are discussing a new deck for our house and the carpenter suggested pressure treated wood. In another life I would have taken his word for it, because he’s a specialist, and I would have lived on a pressure treated wood deck without worry. With my child barefoot touching chemicals every day. With my herb garden right next to the deck, sipping in all the water, everything coming down to it. But no, I am not doing that now. I am painfully researching a natural option. Some wood that doesn’t need to be treated, that we can afford. We found that cedar might be it. I might need to paint it, seal it every year. I am ready to do that. It seems to always be a little bit more work, this natural lifestyle, but I find that it is always worth it and I would never complain. As long as I can stop worrying. Even for a little bit. For one afternoon. For one cup of green tea.